Jefferson and Ann together. Love it.

I read this post by Jefferson Bethke (new fav) via Ann Voskamp's blog today.  Jefferson explained grace in such a way that reminded me again how grateful I am to Jesus for coming, for washing away my sin.

Jefferson talked about how we often hide from sin, as if we can ever really hide from God.  I am sure I do this.  My hope is that more and more, I will admit my shortcomings, my sins.  I really feel strongly that sin has power over us when we keep it secret.  When we are not willing to be authentic and share our struggles, those struggles keep a hold on us.  But when I bring them out into the open, when I admit that I am fallen in specific ways, the power goes out of the sin.  I might still struggle, sure.  But it is so much easier not to, because people already know.  If I said I had a bad day, no one would be surprised because I have already admitted the struggle.  I had already been honest about it.

One of the things I struggle with is being abrasive.  I might also describe this as blunt, passionate, not gentle, maybe sarcastic.  It can come across as judgment or condemnation, which would NEVER be my heart.  I find that it happens when I feel defensive and when I think I am right about something, but I feel like maybe I am not being listened to, like I don't have a "seat at the table."  I find that it helps when I can sit down with the person to whom I have come across this way and identify this shortcoming, apologize for hurt feelings, give a hug.  I really like to talk things out, not because it is easy, but because the power of the conflict dies away when we come together.  I like to talk things out because when I feel like both parties are heard, we each know one another better and we can come to a place of understanding, even if we still don't agree with each other fully.  I have seen this work enough times to know that is has deepened, improved, and made my relationships more functional and comfortable.

It is no secret that I am far from perfect.  The longer I live, the more I know how much I need Jesus and the more I am thankful for grace.  I am thankful that He has justified me to God, through the gift of His life on the Cross.  That gift is what makes me want to live out these days honoring God through the act of allowing the Holy Spirit to work in me.