Silly Pink Panther glasses

A long while back, when Max was newborn, the boys' Grandma Watts got these Pink Panther glasses from McDonalds or somewhere in a happy meal.  She has wanted a picture of everyone in the family wearing them, including each new addition.  So, she sent me the glasses for a picture of Thomas.  Jackson and Max have grown so much since we took a picture in them the last time that I went ahead and snapped some of them too:)

Gardening with friends

Our gardening adventure has been interesting, educational, and fun.  A few weeks ago we let our lettuce plants go to seed.  This is Jackson harvesting seed.   Kind of hard to see in this picture, but I wanted him to remember he helped!

We had neighbor friends stop over to learn what we were doing.

When a tomato would drop off the plant or the birds did not eat all the seeds, little tomato plants would just pop up all over the garden.  Pretty funny, but it made no need for us to start more from seed.

We thought after the first round of peppers we got that our plants might be finished.  But...  a little time of waiting and they started flowering again.  Even more than last time, it seems.

Reflection...

Isaiah 47:7  You said, "I am forever--the eternal queen!"  But you did not consider these things or reflect on what might happen.

We all do it.  We are selfish.  We think of ourselves as the most important.  We consider ourselves king or queen.  And we don't consider others or what the consequences of our actions might be.  I often think about how I need to let the Holy Spirit guide every. single. moment of my life, every. single. decision.  every. single. word that comes out of my mouth.   Why is this so hard?  Why is turning to God in prayer and allowing the Holy Spirit in not the first thing I do?

Paul says in Romans 7:15  I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate, I do.

He talks about being a slave to sin.  This world is taken over by sin.  It's why we need Jesus.  Why I need Jesus.  I need Him to wash away my sin, cast is as far as the east is from the west.  I need to be on my knees in thankfulness for His grace covering me.  And only on my knees have I realized that selfishness gets me nowhere.  If I am the first thing I think of, then I am not loving God first, and certainly not my neighbor second.  So, how do I put God and others first?  How do I make myself consider the future when I am making decisions, which I talk?

I don't have an easy answer for this.  But here are some things I know work:  be in The Word.  Covering myself and my heart in the truth of God's Word softens me to others and opens me to His leading.  Pray.  Talk to God about anything and everything before I talk any first or next steps.  Make these things habits, so they are second nature and an ingrained part of me.  This is the hard thing for me.  Picking up my Bible every single day?  Praying through everything?  Doing these things habitually takes practice and reminders, and many times I fail.  I just don't even do them, don't even consider doing them...  My selfish heart...  And so, I practice...  and I fall down... and I get up and I practice some more.

He carries us...

Isaiah 46:4  Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you.  I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

The older I get the more I realize how much I need the Lord to sustain me.  I simply cannot "do" life on my own, without entrusting my care to my Creator.  And not only my care, but the care of those I love.  The obvious people are my kids and husband.  I cannot be with them every second and even if I could, I still could not protect them from every hurt and harm that might happen.  I am so thankful I can cover them in prayer, as well as feel sure that if something does happen, they will be with our Jesus in Heaven and I will see them again one day.

The person who coined the saying about your kids being "your heart walking around outside your body" really knew what she was talking about if you ask me.  The desire of my heart is to see my boys have lives filled with joy, to know, love, and serve the Lord, to live a long time, and to serve others and make the world a better place.  But there is inherent danger in just being alive, let alone go down some of the paths in life that are options.  Jackson talks about being a firefighter (and simultaneously owning a restaurant) one day.  Lord help this Mama heart if that happens.  I have my doubts about the restaurant, because, what in the world would such a picky eater serve to people?  I would not mind doing some missions work or the boys ending up working in missions.  Yikes though...  potentially not much contact with them, all kinds of things they are not exposed to in the USA, and chaos everywhere in the world.  Wherever their hearts are though and wherever God calls them, I want to support.  I want to be part of the way God sustains them.

There are so many others in my life whom I think and pray and hope the best for.  But I can't be there with them, partly because the military has brought me far away.  It is hard to form deep relationships from far away; it takes much effort to keep them up as well.  And so, while I do my best to let those I love know how much I love them, I have to trust that God will take care of the rest.  He will sustain and carry each one of us who asks Him to.

So thankful for this truth today.

Our stories...

Jesus had just ascended to Heaven with witnesses watching.

Acts 1:10 They were looking intently up into the sky as he was going, when suddenly two men dressed in white stood beside them.  11.  "Men of Galilee, why do you stand here looking into the sky?  This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven."

Cool right?!  I often think about how amazing it would be to be here when Jesus returns.  It is going to be something!  I am sure there are many other more flowery, awesome words I could use to describe that moment.  I guess I am not having a very flowery morning, lol.

The Bible records so much information.  Of course, it is a pretty long, large book, often feeling very daunting.  I love it's stories though.  I love the record it gives of the Jesus we trust in, the God who saves, the God who has redeemed and still redeems.  I love that God's story is so long and goes back through so much history in time and that we can trust Him because we can see/read what He has already done.  I love that each time I read the Bible I see something new, something I didn't know before.  I love that each time I read I remember more and more of what God wanted us to know and it actually sticks in my brain.

I love that He is continuing to write our stories and that the story of Jesus is not finished yet.  He finished what He came to do at the Cross and now we are waiting for His triumphant return, to set this broken world right again.  Francesca Battestelli has a song called "Write Your Story."  The chorus gets me every time because I remember my own story is not finished yet and I wonder what more God will do with me.  The song also makes me think of a few special people in my life whose stories God is writing and how we have seen His hand very clearly.  And it also makes me think of a few people who I love who have not yet given over the writing of their stories to God, although I believe He is there just the same.  I cannot wait to see what will happen with them when they give Him the pen.  And I cannot wait to one day be with Him and look back to see where He was while I was authoring my own story and how He was there, worrying for me, protecting me, loving me through my mistakes and poor choices.  I look back and it is so evident to me that He was there, right beside me the whole time.

I'm an empty page
I'm an open book
Write Your story on my heart
Come on and make Your mark

Author of my hope
Maker of the stars
Let me be Your work of art
Won't You write Your story on my heart

My prayer for my life and heart is that I really will be an open book so that God will be the One writing the story and I am not trying to take over.  I would love to one day hear Him say that I allowed Him to be the artist and what an amazing story that has turned out to be.

The Journey of a Monarch, as seen through the eyes of Jackson and Max

Some friends of ours had a few purple crown flower plants in their yard, which is a kind of milkweed.  They ended up with many caterpillars of many sizes living on and eating up the plants.  There were so many they offered to share some with us.  

The caterpillars we brought home look like the one in the picture below; this is actually one of them!!  We brought three caterpillars home in a large sour cream container with a leaf in the bottom for them to munch on.  We kept them in the container overnight and the next day we were able to get a caterpillar garden house for them, as well as a purple crown flower plant of our own.  The caterpillars we brought home were pretty close to being fully grown.  It is amazing how small they start out!  

They eat and eat and eat.  Then they poop and poop and poop.  Frass is the special name for caterpillar poop.  

After about a month they are ready to make their chrysalis (not cocoon, which are made by moths).  This is actually the caterpillar shedding its skin, not making a casing around itself.  At first, it looks squishy, but magically changes to a hardened shell about an hour after the initial change.

This is what the butterfly garden actually looks like.  

The caterpillars built their chrysalis' right on the top plastic of the butterfly cage.   They start with a silk-like substance that secures them in place.  Their feet (I can't remember what they are called!) hold onto the silken piece. It is really neat.

The butterfly emerges from the chrysalis.  It's wings are quite a bit smaller than they will be.

This is what the chrysalis looks like shortly before the butterfly emerges.  Isn't it neat how you can see right through it, you can see the butterfly's wings? 

See how small the wings are compared to the body?  You can even see the silk spread out around the top of the chrysalis where it attaches.  After the butterfly is out, the chrysalis is kind of "crispy."

God is so cool.  Look at this amazing creature!!

Spread those wings and fly!!  

Just like this butterfly, we are all created with the possibility of flying, morphing into the person God has for us to be.  It has been fun watching these butterflies go through their stages.  But, I am even more excited to watch Jackson, Max, and Thomas go through their lives and become the men God has for them to be.  

We went camping!

July 4th weekend, 2014

I know it probably seems unbelievable that I took not a single picture from our first camping trip with all the boys.  Yes, I had the camera with me.  I also had Thomas in the Ergo or on my hip most of the time.  And getting the camera out at the beach can sometimes be a sandy mess, which it was this time, as there was a bit of wind.

A few months ago a friend in my Bible study group called to Bellows Air Force base to see if there were any group camp sites available.  Bellows is on the east side of the island and is used for marine training.  There is a campground, group camp sites, cabins, and beautiful beaches.  Anyway, my friend invited all of us from the Bible study and our families to come enjoy the campsite.  After talking to Mike about it (a few times, just to really be sure we were up for it), we decided to try it.  Initially we were going to go for two nights, Thursday and Friday.  But Thursday Mike got home early from work and then got called back in within a couple hours, while we were in the process of trying to pack.  Thomas was a bear at that point and I could not see myself heading to the campsite without him, trying to put up the tent.  Nope, not gonna happen.  So, I got Thomas in bed and broke the news to the boys.

Jackson and Max are so easygoing and while they were disappointed, they were also understanding.  Thankful for them.

Friday morning, we got up, and had a good breakfast, finished packing and headed out.  By the time we arrived at the campsite, after sitting in a bit of traffic, it was HOT.  But, Mike and the boys pitched the tent with only a little help from me.  My friend Laura held on to Thomas for a bit so I could help them.  We then decided we needed to cool off, so it was off to the beach.  The beach is always fun.  Thomas likes the water, but not the waves or the sand.  Jackson and Max like it all, lol.

We made it back to the campsite ready to eat!  I got a watermelon, which Max usually loves.  Now, at home, I usually cube the pieces.  But for camping, I thought it would be easier to cut triangles on the rind.  Well, wouldn't you know, Max just would not have it that way.  My watermelon lover did not love the way I prepared the watermelon.  The pickiness!!!  We kept the other food simple:  cut veggies (and hummus for me), hot dogs, and Pringles.

Later we joined all the friends at the fire pit with glow bracelets and necklaces, as well as smores.  Because what would a camping trip be without smores?  Unless you're Jackson and Max and you don't like the mess of the smores once put together.  Mike and I ate the put together smores, both ours and the boys.  Then, Jackson proceeded to eat just Hershey's chocolate and Max ate marshmallows.  What a pair!!

Onto sleep.  I thought it would be easiest to just let Thomas sleep with me.  Or not.  It was a bit humid inside the tent and we were both rather sticky.  He woke a number of times, which also woke Mike.  Max and Jackson shared an air mattress and in the middle of the night Mike was up moving Max back onto it.  He had thrown his legs off the mattress.  Up until that second time Mike was up with Max, there was some possibility that we would stay for two nights.  However, after this, Mike turns to me and says, "ONE NIGHT."  Thomas had already been up a few times at that point, so I was on board.  But that moment was pretty hilarious.

Some time in the night, rain came down.  And somehow it got into the tent and dripped on us.  That was fun.

The next day Mike and Jackson woke first and my amazing husband went and found a Starbucks.  He even knew what kind of latte I would order.  We hung out with the friends and let the kiddos run around for a bit.  We let the tent dry out and then packed it up.  We headed back to the beach with the friends and enjoyed the beautiful water and each other.

It was a fun, chaotic, hot, and busy day and a half or so.  When we got home, we put the tent up in the backyard and let the boys play.  Then, Mike slept on the couch that night so they could camp out together in the backyard.  He is a really fun, and nice, daddy.  I slept much better in the bed, lol.

Overall, we learned that little Thomas might need to be a bit bigger before we try camping again, but we do plan on trying it because Jackson and Max just loved it.  Thankful for the good friends that invited us along with them!!

Jefferson and Ann together. Love it.

I read this post by Jefferson Bethke (new fav) via Ann Voskamp's blog today.  Jefferson explained grace in such a way that reminded me again how grateful I am to Jesus for coming, for washing away my sin.

Jefferson talked about how we often hide from sin, as if we can ever really hide from God.  I am sure I do this.  My hope is that more and more, I will admit my shortcomings, my sins.  I really feel strongly that sin has power over us when we keep it secret.  When we are not willing to be authentic and share our struggles, those struggles keep a hold on us.  But when I bring them out into the open, when I admit that I am fallen in specific ways, the power goes out of the sin.  I might still struggle, sure.  But it is so much easier not to, because people already know.  If I said I had a bad day, no one would be surprised because I have already admitted the struggle.  I had already been honest about it.

One of the things I struggle with is being abrasive.  I might also describe this as blunt, passionate, not gentle, maybe sarcastic.  It can come across as judgment or condemnation, which would NEVER be my heart.  I find that it happens when I feel defensive and when I think I am right about something, but I feel like maybe I am not being listened to, like I don't have a "seat at the table."  I find that it helps when I can sit down with the person to whom I have come across this way and identify this shortcoming, apologize for hurt feelings, give a hug.  I really like to talk things out, not because it is easy, but because the power of the conflict dies away when we come together.  I like to talk things out because when I feel like both parties are heard, we each know one another better and we can come to a place of understanding, even if we still don't agree with each other fully.  I have seen this work enough times to know that is has deepened, improved, and made my relationships more functional and comfortable.

It is no secret that I am far from perfect.  The longer I live, the more I know how much I need Jesus and the more I am thankful for grace.  I am thankful that He has justified me to God, through the gift of His life on the Cross.  That gift is what makes me want to live out these days honoring God through the act of allowing the Holy Spirit to work in me.

On giving

Matthew 6:2  So when you give to the needy, so not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men....  3  But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret.  Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

My friend Jill posted this article about the "Christian Adoption Movement."  I guess I thought Christians adopted when they felt called by God.  Apparently the church thinks it is their place to step in and tell us to do so as well.  Can you tell I feel a little ambivalent about that?  I think God calls us to take care of the widows and orphans (among many other things), and I think that can be done in many different ways.

I have thought about adoption, if it might be right for us.  I have thought about fostering, if that might be right for us.  I have thought of giving every single extra penny we have away and is God really calling me to that?  I have been exposed to so many different avenues of giving to God's kingdom.  You just cannot be involved in every one.

And the little boy in this article gave me something to think about.  He said that people want others to see the good things they do.  Wise for a little guy, no?  The church wants Christians to be seen taking care of the world.  We want to be acknowledged for the ways we give, the good things we do as individuals.  But I don't really think that God had it in mind for us to be lavished with praise for following this command of His.  He will honor us, He will reward us for making this world a better place, maybe for the world to see, maybe not.  But I want to be giving only because God calls me to, not because I want to show off for the world.

People are going to see sometimes.  You might be the one doing the work.  You might be physically serving the needy.  I am not saying we should be secretive and try to hide our giving from others.  But that the focus of our hearts should be giving to honor God and follow His commands.  Make my heart only for you Father, make You my sole focus, so only You get all the praise and all the glory.

Thomas eats watermelon!!

Thomas is starting to seem interested in foods we have on our plates.  I bought a watermelon last week to take with us camping and Max had a dish out.  We decided to give Thomas a little taste in one of those mesh deals.  He was a little messy when finished, but he seemed to enjoy the flavor.

Big mouth!

Brotherly love

No doubt about it, Jackson and Max love each other and Thomas!

Jackson always wants to get in on the weekly pictures.

Max likes to entertain 

Kisses!

Jackson likes to start the day by holding Thomas while he watches a show

Our reward

Isaiah 40

Isaiah was telling people of the greatness of God.  He also told them of their inequality to God.  He told them how strong and powerful God is, which was meant to show how weak and small we are.  He told us we are like specks of dust to God.  But then, in the last few verses, Isaiah reminds the people that God gives strength and power to those who are weak.  So, if we ask, God will give strength and power to any one of us.

I keep going back to this verse:

40:10  Look, the Lord God is coming with power to rule all the people.  Look, he will bring reward for his people; he will have their payment with him.

Where does this power come from?  What is our reward?  I wonder if there is hidden meaning in these verses, which explains...  Jesus.  Jesus had power, although He sometimes appeared weak.  He healed many people, He claimed the power to forgive sin (which was one of the ways He claimed to be God, as only God can forgive sin).  His miracles were for the people to see, to help them believe.  He physically showed His power.  Then, He passed this power onto us, in the form of the Holy Spirit, our Helper.

And what is our reward? I think our reward is actually death.  Jesus took our payment of death on the cross for our sin.  He "had our payment with Him."  And since he "had our payment with Him," our reward turns into life, once we trust in Him, trust that His death on the cross was in payment of our sin, and that His resurrection shows His power over death.  Since He died for all men, each one of us as individuals, He rules over all people, whether we choose life or death, eternity in Heaven or...  not.

I am weak and God is strong.  I choose Jesus' power.  I choose His strength.  I want Jesus' strength and power to show over my weakness.  I choose life.

Thomas at 6 months

At six months Thomas : 

enjoys a bath

is able to spend longer periods in his playcenter deal

most people think he looks more and more like Max, but I think he has Jackson's hair and nose

gives big smiles for Jackson and Max

rolls all over the place, but is not quite sitting up without flopping over

is eating some baby foods, mostly fruit, but he does not want them all the time

likes a biter biscuit, but boy is he a mess with it!

still doesn't love the bumbo or the high chair

is sleeping longer stretches through the night, sometimes on his belly

still takes the pacifier; no sign of a desire for the thumb, yay!

freaks out if he wakes up and mom is not there

is a morning person, he has a LOT to say when he wakes up and he is very loud

does not have any kind of schedule to speak of, poor thing

Humility for all my life

Isaiah 38:15  ... I have had these troubles in my soul, so now I will be humble all my life.

Humble all his life?  The speaker of this verse goes on to be prideful and ends up coming to destruction.  Humility is a quality that I too want to have.  I want it to show in my life.

Humility:  a modest or low view of one's own importance OR the quality or state of not thinking you are better than other people.  

I want to be humble before God, never thinking that I am better than He or that I have it all covered.  I know that I am lost without Him, in more ways than one, but I also know that my knowledge of this does not always show in how my life is lived out.  I am sure God often looks down on me and sees into my heart and knows that I am living in my own strength, that my human nature has taken over and I am trying to control my life.  

Humble all my life?  A lofty goal.  But it is definitely how I desire to live, putting others before myself, serving as Jesus served, living with a constant awareness of His grace and mercy for me.  

Good plans

Isaiah 37: 26  ...  Long ago I, the Lord, planned these things.  Long ago I designed them, and now I have made them happen.

God has His hand in every little detail of my life.  He brought me to where I am.  He knew I would choose Jesus.  He led me to this life and provided for me every step of the way, even when I did not acknowledge His presence or His help.

The Lord brought me right here, right now.  He brought me to this morning, when Thomas is up early and making all kinds of ruckus.  Did you see me write all. kinds. of. ruckus.  The kid is a noise machine on a quiet morning.

The Lord brought me to the time when I taught Jackson to play Skip Bo.  And then He brings me to each morning where the first thing I hear when Jackson exits the stairs is, "Mom, can we play a game of Skip Bo?" I usually think how early it is when he asks, but I better start saying "Thank You" to the Lord for the moments my sweet boy still wants to play cards with me.  One of these days I am sure that desire will no longer be there.

And the Lord brought me to the gifts of moments where I get to watch Max dance to the songs he sings in his own head (currently they include "Counting Stars" by One Republic, "Back to You" by Mandisa and "Ready, Set, Go" by Royal Taylor).  I think we are going to have to get singing lessons for that boy.  I just smile and laugh when I see him, definitely marching to his own drum.

I am thankful to the Lord that He had/has good plans for me.  I am thankful for the plan of His Son, Jesus Christ, who came as the Savior from my sin, so that I can be reconciled to God and in Heaven forever with Him when my time with these precious boys is over.  I am thankful for each day that I get to notice the gifts He gives me and I hope that I will always have eyes to see the joy in the moments of my life.

Max Starts Soccer

June 23, 2014

Max is playing soccer this season.  His first official sport!!  His coach is a really sweet lady who also has a daughter on the team.  Mike is helping out as well, because at this age, the kids need all the individual attention they can get!!

Running drills

Very serious

Sea Life Park

June 14, 2014

The USO put on an event at Sea Life Park, and I decided to brave the day with all three boys on my own.  It was hot and we had to park down the street and take a shuttle over.  Just waiting for the shuttle took what felt like a long time.  

There is a shark tank that we walked through first.  Boys sat for a picture, but you can't see the sharks.  There were hammerheads and a white tipped shark.  Very cool.  

There was a green sea turtle habitat.  The boys got cups of veggies to feed to them.  What fun to watch!

The view from Dolphin Lagoon was super fun.  

One of the trainers was setting up to clean the tail of one of the dolphins.  I could have sat there all day watching them train and swim.  

View from the walk around dolphin lagoon

Pretty neat right?!

Somehow I managed to snap this picture of this dolphin doing a big jump.  I didn't even realize I had gotten the shot till I got home.  It all happened so fast, lol.  

Sea Life Park has at least 3 different kinds of dolphins that we noted, which was cool for the boys to see.  This adventure was one in which I realized that Jackson either does not like theme parks or crowds or hot days or all of those.  He is not a people or animal watcher.  He wants to get in there, get through all the seeing of the attractions and then play at the playground.  Max, on the other hand, loves all that stuff.  He could have sat with me watching the dolphins for hours.  He never once asked to go home.  He still likes to play at the playground, but he seems to love the wonder of all God's creations and likes to be still and take it all in.  Overall, it was a fun day, albeit a long one!!