Galatians 6:3 If anyone thinks he is important when he really is not, he is only fooling himself. 4 Each person should judge his own actions and not compare himself with others. Then he can be proud for what he himself has done. 5 Each person must be responsible for himself.

A while back I wrote that grace seems to be a recurrent theme in my life these days. I guess I should add mercy to the list. My pastor is currently doing a series on "The End" and this past Sunday he made me think about how Christ died on the cross for me so that I do not have to meet a sad end. Instead I get to meet my Jesus in heaven and be with Him for eternity. It might seem silly, but every time I think of that sacrifice tears still come to my eyes. I am grateful for the mercy and grace of Jesus.

I am also grateful for His desire to send me a Helper, to dwell within me. I believe it is this Helper, the Holy Spirit, that is able to give me the eyes to see people as Jesus does, with grace and mercy. And yes, I know how imperfect I am and that I fall off the wagon more than I would even like to admit. That being said, reading Galatians this morning reminded me yet again... I am undeserving of the grace and mercy of Jesus, and yet He offered Himself on the cross willingly anyhow. I am not that important in the grand scheme of things, but to Jesus, He would have come for me if I was the only one to come for. Talk about love.

This leads into the next part of the scripture. Now that I know Jesus on the inside, I should be demonstrating His love on the outside. I have the choice... This scripture, about judging my own actions, reminds me that I should be loving others no matter what their lives are like or what they have done to me. The only person I should be judging is myself. And I do not even mean harshly, but just taking a real look into my life and heart and seeing where I need to change my own self. I have got to let Jesus work on others. It is my job to offer them grace and mercy, not to change them or make them into the person I think they need to be, although there is a caveat to this for the believer.

I am responsible for me, and only for me. In heaven, I will be answering for how I loved others while I lived, not how I felt about how they treated me. I will have to tell God that in the hard spots I was able to control myself and be kind despite my desire to do the opposite. I want to be able to tell God that I offered grace and mercy to those in my life so that they might get a glimpse of Jesus in me and want to know Him. Building the kingdom of heaven... we are all able to take part in that.

Ezra 9: 1 "Ezra, the Israelites, including the priests and Levites, have not kept themselves separate from the people around us.... 2 The Israelite men and their sons have married these women. They have mixed the people who blong to God with the people around them."

9:13 What has happened to us is our own fault. We have done evil things, and our guilt is great. But you, our God have punished us less than we deserve...."

10:10 ...You have been unfaithul and have married non-Jewish women. You have made Israel more guilty. 11 Now, confess it to the Lord, the God of our ancestors. Do his will and separate yourselves from the people living around you and from your non-Jewish wives.

When I read these chapters, I thought, wow God is being pretty hardcore. Demanding that the His people separate themselves, in some cases divorce their spouses. Can you imagine? The Israelites probably loved these people, even though it was against the teaching of God in the first place. They had been separated from God and His ways/laws for so long that they did not even know what they were doing was wrong until someone found God's books of teaching and told them so. Of course, this is the Old Testament God, who had not yet officially made Himself open to saving non-Jewish people. And so, the Jews did what God wanted. They left their non-Jewish wives and even their kids, and if they did not, they were separated from all the other Jews. I have a feeling some of them probably took that road.

This is such a metaphor for our lives today. How many times do we have stuff in our lives that we know the God of Heaven would not like? And how many times do we take the road in which we continue to love or do the thing we know He would abhor? Because we think that our wants and desires are the main point of this life. Because we think if we love something then it has to be right, right? But this story is an illustration that we are not to be the ones in control. God is. If we are truly His followers we should be doing His will, giving up those things we know He would not like. When we let go of those things, we put ourselves back in His will and we will be blessed.

As a caveat: Divorcing someone that does not believe in God is not the way that Jesus taught. The God of the New Testament brought an even higher calling: do not marry someone who does not believe in the first place (which is actually what was taught in the OT) . But, if you are already married, stand in your faith, believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and live your life like you believe. The love that fills your life and heart because of Jesus will bring your spouse into His will as well (this is the change of the NT).

Psalms 69:30 I will praise God in a song and will honor him by giving thanks. 31 That will please the Lord more than offering him cattle, more than sacrificing a bull with horns and hoofs.

71:7 I am an example to many people, because you are my strong protection. 8 I am always praising you; all day long I honor you.

There's this amazing woman I know and she gave me this book called "One Thousand Gifts." It's about this woman who was going through life and just feeling kind of apathetic and tired about it. Then she had a friend who challenged her to write down a list of one thousand things she is thankful for, including every little thing. She writes about the big stuff, like her kids and husband, but also the little things, like how the clouds look in the sky and bubbles in the sink while she is washing dishes. The eye opening thing for me about the book (and I have not read the whole thing yet) is when she talks about the first sin (eating the apple from the forbidden tree) actually being a sin of ingratitude. Yes, Adam and Eve did not listen to God, but the real sin was the they didn't listen because they thought He was not giving them all they could have; they were not grateful for all they already DID have.

I want to be content in all I have, abundance or lack. So... like in the book I am making it a point to be thankful for all the things I can on any given day. Small things like the way freshly shredded cheddar cheese looks, smells, and tastes. And the things that are big to me, like my kids and their loveableness and my husband and his love and support for me. God gives us these and all the things in between. Contentment is bred from thankfulness. It is a lesson I am enjoying learning and I hope it is making me a better example of God's love for the people of this lost and broken world.

Psalm 39: 2 I kept very quiet. I didn't even say anything good, but I became even more upset. 3 I became very angry inside, and as I thought about it, my anger burned. So I spoke: 4"Lord,...."

I read this scripture and it made me think about what keeping things all to ourselves does to us. Plain and simple: we become even more angry and overtaken by it. We don't even say anything good. But I am glad right now, because I know I can take all my junk to the Lord. I can call on Him to help me work out all my issues and that allows all the junk to not build up. In reality, the same stuff still comes up for me all the time. I have to constantly give it over to God and trust Him with it. But, if I keep talking to Him about it and allowing Him to lead my actions about things, then I can keep bitterness from creeping into my heart.

Sometimes keeping quiet is not what I want to do. Sometimes I want to talk and say things that I think will get me somewhere. Sometimes words are healing. Sometimes they are just hurtful. Sometimes words just do not get us anywhere. Sometimes I don't know what to do. Okay, many times. Maybe the question is: What is most Jesus-like? Even in His hardest times on earth, when He felt most separated and forsaken by the Father, Jesus talked to God. And He still followed through with the right thing (His death on the cross) even though it was the hardest thing He ever did. And I am so grateful, for because of His sacrifice I am forgiven. Because He chose the right thing, I can too.

2 Thessalonians 2: 13 But we ought always to thank God for you, brother loved by the Lord, because from the beginning God chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth. 14 He called you to this through our gospel, that you might share in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.

There is so much I have been wanting to write about lately. And just never enough time to sit and write, so instead, I send up my prayers for anything and everything that crosses my mind. But tonight, I am waiting for the floors to dry so I can put a pot of coffee on for the morning and put everything back in order before I go to sleep. And I actually sat down to clean out my email box and start reading my daily devotion instead. And that lead me here, sitting, writing to you all.

I love you. But way better than me, God loves you. And He is calling you. He is calling you through the very fact that you are reading this email. I want more than anything to know that the people I love know the Lord, whether we talk anymore or you even like me anymore or not. Today I have been thinking about the circumstances of some of my relationships. And all I can do is pray that the Lord will give me whatever I need to say/do to show those I love, that I love them. Way easier said than done, as I am sure many of you know. But here's the thing: God transcends all the relationship junk that we experience in this life. He is ALWAYS good, ALWAYS in our corner. He loves us with a love that we cannot even fully wrap our minds around. He sent His Son to die as a man on a cross; He sacrificed for all of us.

So, who of you are called and have been ignoring the Lord? Cause He is knockin'. I have more than one friend and I myself have been known to be blind to what God is trying to get through to us. He uses all kinds of things we would not think of. And sometimes He has to keep picking us up because He had been getting close and the devil pulled us away from Him. We have choices; and (crazy as this sounds to some) I believe that there are supernatural powers at work pulling us away from God. Why else would we not want to run straight into the arms of someone so good? Because... someone out there is trying with all his might to make God look pretty bad. And we believe it.

I pray you will take a look at your life/circumstances as a new year begins and try to see where God is calling to you, chasing you. He chose you from the beginning. The first step of faith might be the hardest... but it might be the best thing you have ever done and will make 2011 a year to remember.

Psalm 66:16 All of you who fear God, come and listen, and I will tell you what he has done for me. 17 I cried out to him with my mouth and praised him with my tongue. 18 If I had known of any sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened to me. 19 But God has listened; he has heard my prayer. 20 Praise God, who did not ignore my prayer or hold back his love from me.

I read this scripture in another translation today. And I love it. I just love the Psalms. A long while back I was going through the psalms, reading one or two every day and journaling about something. But... someone told me they were kind of tired of my writing on the psalms. And I stopped. And that was a mistake... because, the psalms speak to my heart, to the very depths of my soul. There is so much depth of emotion within them, so much to learn about how to praise the Lord, how to go to Him no matter what your problems, how to request His help. And when I don't have the words to say, I can pray the psalms. I can apply them to my own life, and pray God's own Word back to Him, which He loves to hear and He makes is really easy for me to tell Him my needs, because David (and a few others) wrote about every emotion we might have, every need that needs filling.

These words stuck with me because the psalmist is saying is that he repented of everything he might have done wrong to the Lord. He told the Lord everything about him that needed forgiving. And God loved him anyway. God listened to the prayers of the psalmist because he went to the Lord with a pure heart, open to allowing the Lord to change him into a better man and knowing of his need for the love of the Lord.

Here is my prayer, using the psalm:

16 Listen, my friends. God has done great things for me!! Thank you Lord, for making me new in Christ (even if those I love do not understand or even believe I am changed or better). Thank you for being the Lover and Savior of my soul. You are mighty to save Lord and You chose me! 17 I praise you Father. You are more than I could ever hope for in this life. 18 Lord, I know there is junk and I just ask you to take it from me right now; I repent. That moment of gossip I shared with my coworker is as bad as my living my life knowing just how much I have and still holding onto every penny so tightly. Please Lord, listen to my prayers because you know my heart. 19 Thank you Lord, that You do hear my prayers. Thank you for listening. 20 Praise you Lord, for loving me despite all my shortcomings. Thank you for filling in all my cracks with the love of Christ and using them to show your might and power to those that need you, even when I have no idea what you are doing.

2 Kings 5: 11 Naaman became angry and left. He said, "I thought Elisha would surely come out and stand before me and call on the name of the Lord his God. I thought he would wave his hand over the place and heal the disease. 112 The Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, are better than all the waters of Israel. Why can't I wash in them and become clean?" So Naaman went away very angry.

13 Naamans' servants came near and said to him, "My father, if the prophet had told you to do some great thing, wouldn't you have done it? Doesn't it make more sense just to do it? After all, he only told you, 'Wash and you will be clean.' "


I liked this passage SO much because it made me think of all the times when God said, Here you go. Do it My way and it will be all taken care of. But NO. I had to try and go my own way, without Him because I can't really need God can I? Sometimes we think our own way or our own stuff is so much better than what God gives or can give to us. And we choose ourselves over Him. But... look at the scripture. His way heals!! Even when there is something else out there that seems way more grand. His way heals.

I think this passage is a metaphor for salvation and grace. Jesus says He came that we might be saved, because we are sinners and we need a Savior. All we have to do is ask right? But we make it so hard. We think there has to be something we can do to get into Heaven, we have some kind of picture of how good we need to be, that if we just go wash in the bigger, better river we can get there. But we just can't get to Heaven if we are not willing to get there God's way (He did, after all, create Heaven in the first place right?). So, we have to set our expectations of ourselves aside and take a look at our real selves. We have to identify what parts of us are just not godly, what parts of us are just plain horrible. And we have to let ourselves know that this is the sin in us. And we usually need a reason to get rid of those things, to really push them out of our lives. And let me tell ya, just to be a better person is usually not a good enough reason, as much as we might want to believe it is.

Jesus wants every last one of us in Heaven with Him. He came so we could get there the easy way, although it was hard for Him. So today it is our choice. Do we wash in the grace of Jesus? Or do we keep trying to get there on our own, trying to be more good than the person next to us, trying to attain an unattainable righteousness?