Psalm 39: 2 I kept very quiet. I didn't even say anything good, but I became even more upset. 3 I became very angry inside, and as I thought about it, my anger burned. So I spoke: 4"Lord,...."

I read this scripture and it made me think about what keeping things all to ourselves does to us. Plain and simple: we become even more angry and overtaken by it. We don't even say anything good. But I am glad right now, because I know I can take all my junk to the Lord. I can call on Him to help me work out all my issues and that allows all the junk to not build up. In reality, the same stuff still comes up for me all the time. I have to constantly give it over to God and trust Him with it. But, if I keep talking to Him about it and allowing Him to lead my actions about things, then I can keep bitterness from creeping into my heart.

Sometimes keeping quiet is not what I want to do. Sometimes I want to talk and say things that I think will get me somewhere. Sometimes words are healing. Sometimes they are just hurtful. Sometimes words just do not get us anywhere. Sometimes I don't know what to do. Okay, many times. Maybe the question is: What is most Jesus-like? Even in His hardest times on earth, when He felt most separated and forsaken by the Father, Jesus talked to God. And He still followed through with the right thing (His death on the cross) even though it was the hardest thing He ever did. And I am so grateful, for because of His sacrifice I am forgiven. Because He chose the right thing, I can too.

Psalm 146:3, "Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save." (NIV)

i was just thinking today about mike leaving and also, all my good friends being strewn across the country. i have so many people to love, and almost none of them (adults anyhow:-) are here with me, in person. most of the time, i miss people. everyone knows i am a "people person." but... i am choosing to think of this deployment as my time to improve on, expand on, and give more time to my relationship with the Lord. all the time, i am saying that i don't have enough time to pray, read, journal and live out a relationship with God that involves... well, relationship. relationship means talking to one another, and listening. it involves time spent and time to be given. so... i am going to put my trust in my Creator, because He is the one who saves me. He is the one who can guide me and help me know who i am in Him, and who i need to be in order to be and grow into the person He wants me to be. i love all the people in my life, including my Lord and Savior, with whom i am looking forward to spending a little quality time.