1 Kings 21:25 There was no one like Ahab who had chosen so often to do what the Lord said was wrong, because his wife Jezebel influenced him to do evil.

I stopped here at the scripture today because it made me think: whose "Jezebel" am I? Or, who are the "Jezebels" in my life, influencing me away from the Lord. I am already at risk of sinning every day of my own accord, and I surely do not need anyone in my life helping me out in that area. This is why it is so important to make sure the people I hang with are people who I trust to build me up, call me to be better, even when that makes me uncomfortable. Lately I have found myself pretty well out of touch with people. Oh, I have made plans here and there, and kept busy with the boys doing fun things, but I just have not had the kind of one-on-one fellowship with another Christian lady or mommy that I have had in the past. And... while I am hoping that the Lord blesses me with some new mommy friends soon, I am okay with Him taking His time. I am okay with waiting, enjoying my kids and my time alone (even though sometimes that does seem to drag on and on.) I want to make sure that the people I invite into my life are the quality kind of people who are going to help me grow in my spiritual journey, as a woman, a mommy, a daughter, and a wife. I want also to be that friend to those I meet and engage with.

So, I will wait. I will go to church, take the kids out, play at the park with them. I will enjoy my time in God's Word and at Bible study. I will get all the stuff around the house done that I want to. I will talk to the hubs whenever I have the opportunity. And... I will wait on the Lord to help me see my new friends in His time and with His eyes.

1 Kings 18: 27 At noon Elijah began to make fun of them. "Pray louder!" he said. "If Baal really is a god, maybe he is thinking, or busy, or traveling! Maybe he is sleeping so you will have to wake him!"

This is the second time I have read this scripture within a week or so. Hear something once and you might forget it, but the second time it starts to stick in your mind. Elijah is the prophet of the Lord. God sent him to meet the king and Elijah challenged the prophets of the false God, Baal, to pray to him and make him bring rain, as there had been a drought. And they prayed and prayed, worshipped, cut themselves, and... what do you think? Right! Nothing happened. But then Elijah called on the true God of Israel and did what He said, and guess what? Right! The rain came, proving that the God of Israel exists and loves the people of Israel.

My God is an awesome God. He answers prayers. I was thinking about the "idols" we can have in our lives: people we love, our material things, our car... basically anything we put before the Lord. These things can never answer our prayers (although they might be an answer to prayer.) We cannot expect people or things or hobbies or money to fulfill the longing that was placed in us from the existence of man, a longing to know that there is something bigger and better than us. A longing to know that we really were created to be just who we are, that we were created to love and give to others, that we were created to be loved and be in relationship with the God of the universe. Do you notice how often we expect those things to fulfill us though? I know I do it all the time. And part of that is just because there is not enough time in the day to fit everything in. But... this is when we have to get rid of the distractions and allow God to multiply our time. We plan Him into our day, giving Him the glory and honor He deserves (and He created us to give Him) and He will surely show us that He does not sleep on the job, that He hears every little thing we say to Him and that He loves us beyond our comprehension.

Ephesians 5: 15 So be very careful how you live. Do not live like those who are not wise, but live wisely. 16 Use every chance you have for doing good, because these are evil times. 17 So do not be foolish but learn what the Lord wants you to do.

Ephesians 4: 32 Be kind and loving to each other, and forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ.

Funny huh, how things come at just the right time? I tell you all, I have been having kind of a pity party the last few days. I have been thinking about how I don't have a close friend here in Oklahoma right now. I have been thinking about how I have made people feel unloved and how others have made me feel unloved. I have been thinking about how selfish we all are. And... I have been thinking about how my husband is many miles away and unable to distract me from all this thinking. And then, I was reading my devotional this afternoon. In it, the author questions how we can daily be people who extend grace to others and to ourselves. At the end of her writing she challenged us to do something nice for someone who has hurt us and/or to do something for someone who cannot return the favor. This was the Lord speaking to my very heart, helping me to learn what He wants me to do. Jesus forgave me when I did not deserve forgiveness. And He calls me to do the same for others. Forgiving someone I do not want to forgive or who has hurt me is one way I can use every chance I have for doing good. Doing good means letting go of all the hurts I have been thinking about lately. It is letting go of all the expectations I have for people. All I need to do is be kind and love them, whether or not they return my favors or love me back. Doing good is giving into the lives of others when I have the chance and when I can actually plan to do it.

Living wisely means following God's Word, all of it. I better get back to reading. I know I have a few more lessons to learn.

Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.


i have been in the mood to journal lately:-) as usual, i just have not had much time to write. i have been thinking a lot about waiting lately. the fact that after mike leaves, i will be waiting for him to come home. waiting to hear where the Air Force might one day take us. waiting to get to michigan for our visit. waiting for all the fun things ahead with our kids. this scripture caught my eye because of the "hope in the Lord" part. while i am waiting what am i thinking about? who am i allowing to control my attitude and my joy? is it those people on whom i am waiting? is it my circumstances at the time? or is my hope in the Lord; in the knowing that He has a rich and amazing plan for me? am i allowing Him to renew my strength in preparation for the next thing to come in my life? or am i letting the other things in my life zap my strength?

i think i am an optimistic person to begin with. but that does not mean that the ins and outs of this life do not get me down, that i do not allow circumstances and people to zap my joy and my strength. but i find that when my hope is in the Lord instead of all the earthly things around me, i am able to adjust my attitude to be one of joy instead of worry, laughter instead of anger or upsetment. there are so many reasons i want to have a joyful attitude, but two things stick out right at the moment. 1) i want to be a happy person for my husband and my kids 2) i want to be ready to be joyful for when the waiting is over and the next things happens in my life

Romans 12:3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

i read this awesome devotional today about perspective. the author talked about perspective being one of the things that hinders or helps in your walk with Christ. are you able to forgive yourself for past regrets and actions? or are you stuck thinking about the things that could have been or you could have done better? how about looking at yourself and your life from a God perspective? the God i know, is a loving and forgiving one. He casts our sins as far as the east is from the west. He lets go of the things we have done wrong once we have confessed that wrongdoing to Him.

sober judgment... the words themselves seem sober. i just think they mean to be realistic about yourself. i am not the one this world centers around. i am not the only one who needs things. i am not better than anyone else given the gift of life on this earth. in fact, i am much less. but... i am worthy of God's love and forgiveness. i am worthy of the plan He has for me, the Good plan. this is the perspective i want to have for myself: that i need the Lord as my Savior, that i am worthy of His love, and that He has great things for me. but also: that i am blessed to BE a blessing, that i have sinned and need His forgiveness, and that i need to live a faith filled life in order to live out the plan God has for me.

Psalm 146:3, "Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save." (NIV)

i was just thinking today about mike leaving and also, all my good friends being strewn across the country. i have so many people to love, and almost none of them (adults anyhow:-) are here with me, in person. most of the time, i miss people. everyone knows i am a "people person." but... i am choosing to think of this deployment as my time to improve on, expand on, and give more time to my relationship with the Lord. all the time, i am saying that i don't have enough time to pray, read, journal and live out a relationship with God that involves... well, relationship. relationship means talking to one another, and listening. it involves time spent and time to be given. so... i am going to put my trust in my Creator, because He is the one who saves me. He is the one who can guide me and help me know who i am in Him, and who i need to be in order to be and grow into the person He wants me to be. i love all the people in my life, including my Lord and Savior, with whom i am looking forward to spending a little quality time.

Romans 8: 4 He did this so that we could be the kind of people the law correctly wants us to be. Now we do not live following our sinful selves, but we live following the Spirit.

i have been thinking lately about how much those of us, myself definitely included, allow the world to invade or control us even though we have been given freedom in Jesus Christ. i have thought about how i have failed in the past and how i want to be better in the future: to love better, give more, and allow the Holy Spirit to invade me and allow me to live to the higher standards of the Lord. i am sure most people would look at me from the outside and see a "good person." but i know myself, my thoughts, my reactions to things that happen to me, the way i judge others inside my head. if my heart were truly good, my first thoughts would be ones of love, not jealousy, envy, or anger. that is what the Spirit helps us to be: truly good, acting and reacting with love to all the people in our lives, those we love and those we just happen to interact with.