I'm not sorry...

Yesterday I had someone, for the umpteenth time, say something to the effect of "I'm sorry," when they were informed I am having another little Clemens boy...

I am NOT sorry.  Of course, there was a part of me that wanted a girl.  But more than that, I wanted another baby.  The laughter, the smiles and gurgles.  The little newness and innocence of that time and those little snuggles.  And for reasons I won't know until a long time from now, God decided we need another boy.  And I have learned how He knows what He is doing.

So, through this pregnancy, I have allowed my excitement to build up for the arrival of this boy.  I hope he has pitch black hair like I did when I was born and that he loves to be held, but he will let me set him down.  I cannot wait until Jackson and Max get to meet him and hold him.  I can't wait to nurse again and enjoy that sweet time of being with a baby that Mike and I helped make.  I look forward to seeing him grow and become his own little person.

I decided to write this post because there seem to be a lot of people out there who feel like we got gypped.  We didn't.  This little guy was chosen for our family, for this time, by a God who is bigger and has a better plan for us than we can imagine.  We waited for him for what felt like a long time.

Then, this morning I woke up to a message from a friend about wanting babies.  Waiting for babies.  And I look down at my round belly and I am just so thankful that God gave us this one.  He will bring joy and smiles and mess and silly craziness to our house.  And some people never get to even know what that is like.  And you think I got gypped?  I got blessed.  Again.

And I don't know why.  God could have kept us in that waiting.  He could have made Jackson and Max the only kids we had.  And we would have had a hard time with that, but we love them more than anything, so we would have gone through life feeling like we are blessed.  Because we have been so very blessed in Jackson and Max.  And since I have such blessings already, I know this little guy will be one as well.

So...  don't feel sorry for us.  Don't feel like we need pink in this house.  You can let it go, knowing that I feel blessed beyond what I have asked.  You can know that I rest in the fact that God knows what He is doing and this little one will be just the right touch for our family.