John 17:6 I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word.

Jesus was talking about the disciples. In this passage He was actually praying for them, talking to God about them. Jesus taught to many people, but He carefully prepared His chosen disciples to know who He was/is and to continue spreading the Good News. Once we become saved, I think we should consider ourselves part of the people given to Jesus, especially because the Holy Spirit promises to be with us and enables us to love like Christ and spread the Good News too.

I am not sure if there are people who believed in or became closer to Jesus because of my presence in their lives. I hope so, because that means I have (at least in part) been doing what Jesus put me here to do. I am thankful for the people in my life who drew me closer to Christ and helped me see my need for Him. Sometimes other people are the only ones who can pull us out of our own little world, the box we put ourselves in, the lies we believe about ourselves and the world.

Did the Lord give me people specifically to love out of this world? In a way different than Jesus (because he never married or had kids), I know He did; I married Mike and have two adorable kids. They are mine, given to love like Jesus loves and prepare them to go into all the world and show His love and salvation. But are there more? I believe so... they are the friends that have "stuck" with me through the hard places, through the past, through all the growing I have done (and I am sure not finished yet, so I hope they will stick around for more.) They are the other family that has to put up with me and sees how I live my daily life, as much as is possible from 1700 miles away.

Today, right now, I am lifting up prayers for my friends and family to know Jesus more personally or for the first time. My prayer will always be that you see Jesus in me.

John 15:22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin. 23 He who hates me hates my Father as well.

I have been thinking about our pathway to heaven a lot lately. Some theologians would say that Jesus is the only way to heaven, as per the Bible. I would tend to agree, as long as someone or something in our lives has caused us to cross pathways with Jesus. Ask me a few days ago, and I would even have said that for those who have not had a chance to hear about Jesus, He is still the only way to salvation. But then... this scripture: "If I had not come and SPOKEN to THEM..." Well, we know Jesus speaks through all the people converted to Christianity and that we (said Christians) are supposed to take the gospel to all nations. Here, Jesus is saying that He came and people heard of Him. So, if they have heard of Him and chose not to believe or dig deeper to figure out if they believe, then there is no excuse. They had their chance. But when He said "them" did He mean all of the world after His death and resurrection? Or did He mean only the people who have actually heard of Him somehow?

Does that even matter? We know that the Bible says we have all rejected God (when Adam first sinned). We also know that the Bible says that somehow, some way during our lives, God reveals Himself to each one of us, verbally, spiritually, through His awesome creation... somehow. But then, we choose not to worship God (the Creator of heaven and earth). We choose to live for ourselves--hence, our need for a Savior. So, then the question is: if we reject God in the first place, does it matter if we never hear about the saving grace of Jesus? Is a rejection of God the Creator without knowledge of Jesus equivalent to rejecting Jesus?

Either way, we are left with those who have definitely heard of Christ, been taught of His saving power and then choose to live without Him. Believe me, life is not all peaches and cream after we choose Jesus. In fact, He said our lives might be hard, we might be persecuted for our belief in Him (as are many who live outside the USA, and as many have been throughout the history of Christianity). But He also said our reward would be eternity in Heaven with Him. I'll take that. And I will also hold onto the call to take the gospel into all the world. I am still figuring out what that looks like for me. But my desire is to see people know the saving grace of Jesus... and since I know that is His desire as well I want to figure out how best to do my part.

To all of you reading this: I love you very much. I know some of you I have not seen in years and others I see and talk to all the time. You are my heart. I hope you feel the love of Jesus through me, that you have seen me become better because of Him and that you all know how much He loves you... and that He came for YOU.

John 7: 7 The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify that what it does is evil.

8:6 ....But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said the them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

Many of us do not want to see/accept Jesus for the first time, because He tells us the truth: we have sin in our lives. Sin makes us unworthy of heaven and we need a way to get there (if that is where we want to end up after this life). He is the way. But we don't want Him, because we know that if we accept Jesus this means our lives will change. We might end up like those boring Christians.

I am in love with being a boring Christian. My life has changed. I feel better about myself than I ever have in the past. And I know what my future holds (in eternity). And so, because of that knowledge and assurance of Jesus, I want to share Him. I want to love like Him. I want to see those I love coming to Him so we can walk this walk together.

I know there are still plenty of blind spots in my Christian walk, and the Lord is showing those to me. My goal is never to make someone feel condemned because of their sin. I still have sin in my own life (whether or not I recognize it) and so... I walk with Jesus, praying that He opens my heart that I can see the ways I am blind in my walk. My prayer is that He uses that blindness and my new knowledge of it to be glorified on this earth and to bring more people to Himself.

John 6: 63 The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life. 64 Yet there are some of you who do not believe.

66 From this time many of his disciples (not the twelve) turned back and no longer followed him.

I am reading this book called "Radical," by David Platt. It was a gift I did not know I needed. Following Jesus is hard; He calls us to so many ways of life that we simply do not want to follow Him into. He wants us to share about Him, love people no matter how they behave, and to follow Him despite the fact that we may be persecuted for doing so. He wants us to do all this to glorify God. "Radical" is a reminder of the reason God created the earth and man in the first place: for His own glory. I am reminded that Jesus brought salvation not only because He loves us, but because in showing His love for us in that way, God is glorified and worshipped.

I am reminded because of this book, that if I am not worshipping God and trying to glorify Him through my life, then I am making my life about ME. Everything aside from the Lord winds up only being about how I am feeling, how well I am satisfied, what my needs are. If I am not bringing all the glory and thanks back to God, I am showing my own selfishness. I am showing that I believe I can do this life by my own works, my own ingenuity. I am showing that I am not truly a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I am desperate for God, for a relationship with Him, to love Him and know Him more. Knowing the depths of my sin and admitting that I need a Savior brought me to Jesus, God's grace for us in the flesh. I am asking the Lord to keep this desperation (longing) for Him in my heart, so that I can keep growing and knowing Him better, so that I can be more like Him and be unafraid to tell people of the reason for my hope and my lifestyle, and so that I never want to turn back from Him. I am asking that He give me a heart for His Word, the way to knowing Him. And, I am asking that He show me, here in this new place (the Azores), how I can glorify Him.

Luke 23:32 Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. 33 When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals--one on his right, the other on his left. 34 Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Luke 6:36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

37 Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Luke 6:41 Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 42 How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye," when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

I love the way music speaks to me... right to my heart. I heard a song today, about mercy and searching for it. I feel like that all the time. I look at this world, at the brokeness in my own life and those around me (and on the other side of the globe for that matter) and I think, "Jeez, I could go on searching forever and probably never find enough mercy." Welll, maybe that is true if I am dealing with people. I am so thankful that in my own life, all I need is the mercy of the Lord, and if I am remembering His mercies on me, then I (theoretically) will be able to extend those mercies to the people around me. I will be able to look into my own life and realize just how very much mercy I am in need of if I am to get through this life in one piece. I think of Jesus on the cross... and when He said, "Father forgive them..." He was talking about me. Forgive me, because before I knew Jesus in my heart, as my Savior, I surely did not know what I was doing. And even for a long time after that, it took me a long time to understand that my zeal for Jesus did not mean I should walk around calling others out on everything I thought was wrong in their lives. That is Jesus' job. My job is to love them where they are at, with mercy, grace, and kindness. And then, I will hope and pray that one day, they will come to know Jesus as their Savior and they will understand and be grateful for the great depth of mercy God has for His children.

I thought it was interesting that these scriptures were together when I went looking for those on mercy. It lead me back to thinking about my humanity and how inept I am at seeing things that might be obvious if I was an outsider looking in. Jesus is always outside looking in and He knew that we would need to be reminded of all the extras if He really wants us to be merciful. And He does want us to be merciful... so Luke put those words in his Gospel. Mercy is so hard to come by because we are selfish. We want life, relationships, circumstances to be on our terms. We want what we want, when we want it; without waiting for others to meet us in the middle or for God to work in our lives. We are unable or we just plain do not want to take a really hard look into our own lives to see the speck in our eye. It is painful to remove, no? But it is SO important that we do, because that is what takes us to being more like Jesus, full of mercy.

Matthew 5:43 "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'" 44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your father in heaven.... 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Jesus... He calls us to some high standards. How many of us can say we did this today? How many of us can say, "I have prayed for those who have done me wrong"? Jesus is calling us to do just this. He knows that it is so hard to love those who we feel are treating us poorly. But two things I know: 1. Jesus loved me the whole time I treated Him badly and put him on the back burner and His grace and love were unconditionally there for me when I finally understood the depth of His love 2. We cannot call someone to a deeper degree of love and relationship if we do not love them and treat them with kindness despite how we feel about them.

My goal is to give grace. Jesus gave me grace, now I must in turn give that "Jesus grace" to others. There is no one who lives up to Biblical standards better than the person sitting next to them. And so, I want to remember that I must first look in the mirror and worry ONLY about myself and how much love I am giving, how I am making people feel. If I am constantly concerned about how others are not living up to my standards I will miss the opportunities to love them where they are at and to grow in Jesus love (a love that is without condition).

Galatians 6:3 If anyone thinks he is important when he really is not, he is only fooling himself. 4 Each person should judge his own actions and not compare himself with others. Then he can be proud for what he himself has done. 5 Each person must be responsible for himself.

A while back I wrote that grace seems to be a recurrent theme in my life these days. I guess I should add mercy to the list. My pastor is currently doing a series on "The End" and this past Sunday he made me think about how Christ died on the cross for me so that I do not have to meet a sad end. Instead I get to meet my Jesus in heaven and be with Him for eternity. It might seem silly, but every time I think of that sacrifice tears still come to my eyes. I am grateful for the mercy and grace of Jesus.

I am also grateful for His desire to send me a Helper, to dwell within me. I believe it is this Helper, the Holy Spirit, that is able to give me the eyes to see people as Jesus does, with grace and mercy. And yes, I know how imperfect I am and that I fall off the wagon more than I would even like to admit. That being said, reading Galatians this morning reminded me yet again... I am undeserving of the grace and mercy of Jesus, and yet He offered Himself on the cross willingly anyhow. I am not that important in the grand scheme of things, but to Jesus, He would have come for me if I was the only one to come for. Talk about love.

This leads into the next part of the scripture. Now that I know Jesus on the inside, I should be demonstrating His love on the outside. I have the choice... This scripture, about judging my own actions, reminds me that I should be loving others no matter what their lives are like or what they have done to me. The only person I should be judging is myself. And I do not even mean harshly, but just taking a real look into my life and heart and seeing where I need to change my own self. I have got to let Jesus work on others. It is my job to offer them grace and mercy, not to change them or make them into the person I think they need to be, although there is a caveat to this for the believer.

I am responsible for me, and only for me. In heaven, I will be answering for how I loved others while I lived, not how I felt about how they treated me. I will have to tell God that in the hard spots I was able to control myself and be kind despite my desire to do the opposite. I want to be able to tell God that I offered grace and mercy to those in my life so that they might get a glimpse of Jesus in me and want to know Him. Building the kingdom of heaven... we are all able to take part in that.

Ezra 9: 1 "Ezra, the Israelites, including the priests and Levites, have not kept themselves separate from the people around us.... 2 The Israelite men and their sons have married these women. They have mixed the people who blong to God with the people around them."

9:13 What has happened to us is our own fault. We have done evil things, and our guilt is great. But you, our God have punished us less than we deserve...."

10:10 ...You have been unfaithul and have married non-Jewish women. You have made Israel more guilty. 11 Now, confess it to the Lord, the God of our ancestors. Do his will and separate yourselves from the people living around you and from your non-Jewish wives.

When I read these chapters, I thought, wow God is being pretty hardcore. Demanding that the His people separate themselves, in some cases divorce their spouses. Can you imagine? The Israelites probably loved these people, even though it was against the teaching of God in the first place. They had been separated from God and His ways/laws for so long that they did not even know what they were doing was wrong until someone found God's books of teaching and told them so. Of course, this is the Old Testament God, who had not yet officially made Himself open to saving non-Jewish people. And so, the Jews did what God wanted. They left their non-Jewish wives and even their kids, and if they did not, they were separated from all the other Jews. I have a feeling some of them probably took that road.

This is such a metaphor for our lives today. How many times do we have stuff in our lives that we know the God of Heaven would not like? And how many times do we take the road in which we continue to love or do the thing we know He would abhor? Because we think that our wants and desires are the main point of this life. Because we think if we love something then it has to be right, right? But this story is an illustration that we are not to be the ones in control. God is. If we are truly His followers we should be doing His will, giving up those things we know He would not like. When we let go of those things, we put ourselves back in His will and we will be blessed.

As a caveat: Divorcing someone that does not believe in God is not the way that Jesus taught. The God of the New Testament brought an even higher calling: do not marry someone who does not believe in the first place (which is actually what was taught in the OT) . But, if you are already married, stand in your faith, believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and live your life like you believe. The love that fills your life and heart because of Jesus will bring your spouse into His will as well (this is the change of the NT).

Psalms 69:30 I will praise God in a song and will honor him by giving thanks. 31 That will please the Lord more than offering him cattle, more than sacrificing a bull with horns and hoofs.

71:7 I am an example to many people, because you are my strong protection. 8 I am always praising you; all day long I honor you.

There's this amazing woman I know and she gave me this book called "One Thousand Gifts." It's about this woman who was going through life and just feeling kind of apathetic and tired about it. Then she had a friend who challenged her to write down a list of one thousand things she is thankful for, including every little thing. She writes about the big stuff, like her kids and husband, but also the little things, like how the clouds look in the sky and bubbles in the sink while she is washing dishes. The eye opening thing for me about the book (and I have not read the whole thing yet) is when she talks about the first sin (eating the apple from the forbidden tree) actually being a sin of ingratitude. Yes, Adam and Eve did not listen to God, but the real sin was the they didn't listen because they thought He was not giving them all they could have; they were not grateful for all they already DID have.

I want to be content in all I have, abundance or lack. So... like in the book I am making it a point to be thankful for all the things I can on any given day. Small things like the way freshly shredded cheddar cheese looks, smells, and tastes. And the things that are big to me, like my kids and their loveableness and my husband and his love and support for me. God gives us these and all the things in between. Contentment is bred from thankfulness. It is a lesson I am enjoying learning and I hope it is making me a better example of God's love for the people of this lost and broken world.

Psalm 39: 2 I kept very quiet. I didn't even say anything good, but I became even more upset. 3 I became very angry inside, and as I thought about it, my anger burned. So I spoke: 4"Lord,...."

I read this scripture and it made me think about what keeping things all to ourselves does to us. Plain and simple: we become even more angry and overtaken by it. We don't even say anything good. But I am glad right now, because I know I can take all my junk to the Lord. I can call on Him to help me work out all my issues and that allows all the junk to not build up. In reality, the same stuff still comes up for me all the time. I have to constantly give it over to God and trust Him with it. But, if I keep talking to Him about it and allowing Him to lead my actions about things, then I can keep bitterness from creeping into my heart.

Sometimes keeping quiet is not what I want to do. Sometimes I want to talk and say things that I think will get me somewhere. Sometimes words are healing. Sometimes they are just hurtful. Sometimes words just do not get us anywhere. Sometimes I don't know what to do. Okay, many times. Maybe the question is: What is most Jesus-like? Even in His hardest times on earth, when He felt most separated and forsaken by the Father, Jesus talked to God. And He still followed through with the right thing (His death on the cross) even though it was the hardest thing He ever did. And I am so grateful, for because of His sacrifice I am forgiven. Because He chose the right thing, I can too.

2 Thessalonians 2: 13 But we ought always to thank God for you, brother loved by the Lord, because from the beginning God chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth. 14 He called you to this through our gospel, that you might share in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.

There is so much I have been wanting to write about lately. And just never enough time to sit and write, so instead, I send up my prayers for anything and everything that crosses my mind. But tonight, I am waiting for the floors to dry so I can put a pot of coffee on for the morning and put everything back in order before I go to sleep. And I actually sat down to clean out my email box and start reading my daily devotion instead. And that lead me here, sitting, writing to you all.

I love you. But way better than me, God loves you. And He is calling you. He is calling you through the very fact that you are reading this email. I want more than anything to know that the people I love know the Lord, whether we talk anymore or you even like me anymore or not. Today I have been thinking about the circumstances of some of my relationships. And all I can do is pray that the Lord will give me whatever I need to say/do to show those I love, that I love them. Way easier said than done, as I am sure many of you know. But here's the thing: God transcends all the relationship junk that we experience in this life. He is ALWAYS good, ALWAYS in our corner. He loves us with a love that we cannot even fully wrap our minds around. He sent His Son to die as a man on a cross; He sacrificed for all of us.

So, who of you are called and have been ignoring the Lord? Cause He is knockin'. I have more than one friend and I myself have been known to be blind to what God is trying to get through to us. He uses all kinds of things we would not think of. And sometimes He has to keep picking us up because He had been getting close and the devil pulled us away from Him. We have choices; and (crazy as this sounds to some) I believe that there are supernatural powers at work pulling us away from God. Why else would we not want to run straight into the arms of someone so good? Because... someone out there is trying with all his might to make God look pretty bad. And we believe it.

I pray you will take a look at your life/circumstances as a new year begins and try to see where God is calling to you, chasing you. He chose you from the beginning. The first step of faith might be the hardest... but it might be the best thing you have ever done and will make 2011 a year to remember.