Thursday, January 31, 2013

The flesh

John 6:63 It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life.

Hello truth. I have been thinking the last few days about how much I need the Spirit in my life, in my heart, in my brain. Not that this is a new idea or thought I have had. And even more than that, how my “flesh” really is no help at all. When I allow myself to head down a path of irritation or worry I am allowing my flesh to take over and not allowing the Spirit to give me real life, the kind that Jesus wants me to have and to live.

I need to call on the Spirit to be in my life, in my heart. I need to call on Him, before I let myself have those negative feelings or emotions. I need Him. I need His guidance, His love, His teaching, His Word in my heart. Not only do I need Him, but I want Him. I want to be a happy, joy-filled person. I want to be someone who does not look back on my days and realize that I showed irritation or discontentment to the people I interacted with. I want to be someone others want to be around. Heck, I want to be someone I myself would want to be around. I don’t always feel like that about myself. But with the Spirit, I just might. And I am so thankful that my Lord and Savior feels like that too; enough to give His life for me, to cover over my sin and my flesh…

This life is to be continued. With the Spirit in me, I will be better today than I was yesterday.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Part of the miracle

John 6:26 Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you are seeking me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves. 27 Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal.”

When I read this passage this morning I just kept coming back to it. What I kept thinking was: wasn’t eating the bread being a part of the miracle? These people came back to Jesus because they were hungry, not because they really saw His miracle. How often do I do that? How often do I come back to Jesus, desiring for Him to fill me up, while totally missing the greater work He is already doing? How often do I “eat the bread” and totally forget or miss the miracle of the moment?

I think He was trying to tell these people: “You are missing what is truly important!!!” You want bread and you are missing the Christ!! How often do I leave my Jesus out of my day? How often could I be looking for His presence in my life and I float right over it? All the time.

Today, I want to seek Jesus not because of what I need from Him, but because of who He is. My Savior, the Messiah, the Lover of my soul, a miracle worker/giver in my life. Not only does He provide the bread, but I get to be part of the miracle. Help me to see that every day Lord. You give me the food that endures to eternal life… Help me to see that today.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Time out

John 6:15 Perceiving that they were about to come and take him by force to make him king, Jesus withdrew again to the mountain by himself.

In the last six months or so that I have been stationed here at Lajes Field, I have realized what it means to live in a small community. There are only so many people to go around, so many people to do all the activities and keep them going. And everyone pretty much knows everyone else. It is a double-edged sword.

I have seen and heard other mom friends talking about how they have become overwhelmed with all the things that go on here. One receives invitations to so many activities, both for adults and activities with your kids. If you become involved in everything or even just attend lots of the events, there is a chance you might become weary. I did.

I have a couple friends here who are really, really good at limiting themselves. When I got here, I really did not know I needed limits. I had just spent the last five years in Oklahoma, having babies and loving the time I spent with them. I made one truly wonderful friend and spent whatever time was leftover working. Fast forward to here, where I throw myself head first into doing whatever there is.

Obviously that did not turn out to be the best idea. And I realize reading this today that Jesus knew that too. He withdrew. Of course, there was a plan for His life, of which He was already aware. But it stuck out to me this morning that He withdrew. He went to have time to Himself, time to think and be with the Father. He took a time out. And I need to do that too sometimes.

Our trip to the states was a good place to start because it forced me to have some time away from everything I had gotten involved in here and put it in perspective. And now I have come back to the island and I am working on keeping myself and the boys not too busy. I am working on taking my own time out when I need it... to figure out what the Father is truly leading me to do. No easy task...

Monday, January 14, 2013

Jesus calling

John 1:49 Nathanael answered him, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!" 50 Jesus answered him, "Because I said to you, 'I saw you under the fig tree,' do you believe? You will see greater things than these."

When I started this journaling blog, something would stand out to me every time I read my Bible, something I needed to hear, something I wanted to write about, that feeling that the Lord was using His Word to speak into my life. And lately I have not felt this happening. I had been opening to the same old books; good teaching and advice in them no doubt, but I was not seeing anything that popped out to me. And so the other day, I decided to open to the stories of Jesus' teaching, of His great love for people, of His seeing them. And He saw me.

I think I must have felt like Nathanael under that fig tree, sitting here, reading my Bible, doing something normal for my daily life, and Jesus just saw me. And I believed more in Him, if that is possible. You know how when someone "gets" you and then you "feel" their love for you? My Jesus gets me. And I really needed and wanted to feel His love that day. It was His gift to me.

So, not only did I really feel Jesus' love, but I felt Him speaking to me through these verses. First He said, "I saw you," and then He said, "You will see greater things than these." Greater things? He already gave me the gift of seeing me, not to mention all the blessings I look around me and see. But there are greater things?

This idea of greater things spoke right to my heart. Mike and I have been waiting for something. For what feels like a long time now. And waiting. And waiting. And waiting. I know there are others that have been waiting too... Waiting for babies, waiting for spouses, waiting for a job, waiting for life to change. Waiting always feels like it is taking forever. No matter how long you are waiting. Once the decision has been made to go for something, or make a change, then that change can never get here fast enough.

But here, in my waiting, Jesus told me He has greater things. I am not really sure what greater might actually be. Maybe it is not what I want at all. But in His plans, there is greater. If more of Him is greater, then I am glad. I got more of Him today and I felt His love. That alone is greater to me and I am so grateful to have experienced that.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Favorites


Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and now for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. 13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Him who give me strength

1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

These are some of my favorite verses, giving me comfort when I need to remember that I can trust the Lord, even when I do not know what is going on in my life. On the hard days, when I don't know what to do with myself, I can go back to these verses and remember that I have read them before and they have been true. I can do what they tell me in the hard times again, and I can trust that God will be faithful. In the good times, I like going back to them and seeing that, yes, God was faithful. I can see that so far, there has been a plan for my life and He has definitely been leading it. I can see that He gives me strength for the hard times, moments when I have wanted to give up. I can see that talking to Him continually and giving thanks for whatever I can think of has helped me keep my sanity.

Today, I am thankful that He gives me verses I have committed to my memory. I am thankful for His Word, even when I am not in it every day. I am thankful that I can go back to it whenever I want, that He loves me despite my laziness, my apathy, my lack of desire to make myself do anything. And I am thankful that today, right now, I am inspired to know Him more, to be better than I have been in the past...

My prayer is that He will constantly renew my desire to be more like Him, to be in His Word, and to have the energy to get up and spend time with Him. I am thankful that today, when a distraction came, I found a way to press on, writing this entry and taking these few more minutes to remember that my God, the Lover of my Soul, loves me back and wants to be with me and know me deeply.