Monday, November 26, 2012

Freedom

2 Corinthians 3:16 But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away.

3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18 And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

The "veil" on our lives is the time before we accept Christ, the way we live(d) without Him. So often, I think about what my life was like when I was still wearing that "veil" of the world, how I wanted my life to be successful and full in the eyes of the world, how I thought that there was some other person that might make me feel full.

But what I have come to realize, through my acceptance of Christ's salvation and subsequent study of His Word, is that living within what the Bible tells us is freeing in a way that the world had never given me. Living within the "rules" given through the Bible really impresses upon me my Heavenly Father's love. He wrote a whole book for me, to guide me in this life!! And sent His Son as an offering for my sin! He wanted me to know how I can one day be with Him in heaven. And He wanted me to know that He is always with me, through His Spirit. I can allow Him to work in my life by believing in and calling on the power of the Holy Spirit.

I have had worldly experiences which have lead to negative feelings. These were, of course, choices I made on my own. While I believe God has used those experiences for good and for His glory, I also realize how much healthier (mentally and spiritually) I would probably be if I had known and listened to His Word instead of making bad choices. This is not a pity party over here though. I can and do Rejoice in the Spirit of the Lord that has brought me freedom. I have to sometimes remind myself of this freedom, because I am still so far from perfect and do things wrong. But I believe that if I continue to love and serve my Lord, He will continue to bring me freedom through His Spirit and transform me into someone that reflects His Glory.

Thank you Lord that you took away my veil!!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Comfort

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

There are experiences we have that grow us into compassionate humans. I consider myself a compassionate person. I feel that I can put myself in others' shoes. But in the last couple years of my life, I realize that I have learned some valuable things about myself and my relationship to others. I realize that I sometimes ask too many questions, about stuff people just do not want to talk about. I realize that I want information that is not my business. I realize that others are hurting in areas that I do not understand. I am sure there are still many things about this life and hurting people that I do not understand.

This lack of self awareness came from a genuine curiosity in getting to know people and my tendency to ask too many questions. It also came from a lack of experience... When you have not been in someone else's shoes and have not had to experience or think about what they are going through, you might not be as careful with your words.

But the last couple years I am learning that I need to be quiet! I need to sit back and allow time to let me get to know someone and not expect them to blurt out their story, just because I am willing to share mine. And I am learning that I myself do not always want to share everything. There are some things in our lives that are hard to talk about over and over and over. There are some things it is hard to listen to others' advice about, unless they too have been in your shoes.

I am also learning that Jesus really is my comfort. Over time He has shown me that I can lean on Him. I might not feel better just as soon as I pray, but He is faithful to bring peace, even when I have to grieve, explore, or work on whatever is going on in my life. And He can turn my needs for comfort into the ability to be there for someone else who needs comfort too. Jesus is a God of healing and relationship. I am so thankful for the people He has brought into my life that have helped me see His comfort and peace is attainable and given it out to me themselves. I am thankful the Lord has provided just who I need to help me see Him more clearly and to help me grow and be more like Him.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Heavenly citizenship

Philippians 3:20 But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21 who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorious body.

I know there are things that will make me sad and cause me heartache in this life. There already has been those things. It is because of this promise from the Lord though, that I can grieve and move on. I am so thankful that I am able to feel sure that heaven awaits me one day and that the believers I love that have gone before me will be waiting for me there.

My mortality was not the thing that lead me to seek out Christ. For me, it was the fact that I felt like my life was not what I wanted it to be. I did not feel good about myself and the person that I was. But in the process of getting to know the Lord through His Word and His church, I realized the significance of what He did for me on the cross. He made a way for me to be a citizen of heaven, despite the fact that I do not deserve it. He made a way for me to know Him personally.

Knowing Jesus has changed my life. Allowing Him into my heart has given me a hope for the future that I did not have before. I know that not everyone can get hope from taking a leap of faith in a God that became a Man that died on a cross... And if you need more, more knowledge, more research, more science, it is out there. Go, look for it. Allow yourself the opportunity to believe in something bigger than yourself, something that will one day reward you with life in heaven.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Far from Complete

Philippians 1:6 being confident in this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

I think this is one of my most favorite verses in the Bible. I am grateful that I can be confident that the Lord started something good in me that He will keep building on until Jesus' return. I am especially grateful for this knowledge on days when I know I messed up. It is always the times when I have been way less than the person I know I am called to be that I need, more than anything, to know that despite myself, God still loves me and made a way for me. He still has a plan. He is still working on me.

He sure has His work cut out for Him...

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Shield of Faith

Ephesians 6:16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

I never really thought of the testing that comes from the devil being in the form of flaming arrows. But the analogy is so true. Satan aims right for our hearts. He wants to break our faith in God. He wants to make us think that we cannot trust in our Lord because bad things are happening.

I used to think there might be one thing that would test my faith in the Lord, that would weaken or even break my "shield of faith." But I guess my shield has grown larger and is made of good material because I find myself feeling strong in Him. I have questions, sometimes a lot of them. And sometimes I just plain admit that I don't know what the Lord's plan is. Why does He let us go through hard things, things that even make us feel mad at Him? But my faith in Him is strong. I still believe He is the God He said He is in the Bible. I believe He loved me so much He gave His own Son for me, and who would do that, but someone of great character and love?

I believe that I have indeed, put out arrows sent from the evil one. And I also know that just because I am a Christian and I love God does not mean that my life will be peaches and cream. In fact, I think the opposite; I think the Lord gives/allows opportunities to grow our faith to those who can take being stretched. And so I wait for Him to show me my next move. And I keep preparing my shield for battle. I want to be ready when either the good or the bad happens. I want to show that my Lord has prepared me for battle; that His might power and His strength is alive in me.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Given to be a Teacher

Ephesians 4:11 It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers 12 to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up...

I decided to be a nurse and not a teacher. Those were the two things I was thinking of way back when. Fast forward 10 years. And then we moved to the Azores. And I got involved in the Awana program on this base, we decided to homeschool the boys, and I taught preschool vacation Bible school (VBS). I am certainly not a teacher in the public school, large classroom kind of way. But I can see, in a whole new way how hard teachers have to work to actually get the kids to learn. I think the reason they are able to put forth the effort has got to be because they fall in love with the children.

I love my boys more than anything. We decided to homeschool for many different reasons, but I must admit that I am thankful that next year I know I will not have to send Jackson off to kindergarten without me. We have so much fun together, learning and playing and crafting. I simply cannot imagine my day without him in it. And seeing Max's interest sparked by reading and doing puzzles and playing games with us is so much fun. And it is also fun to see how they are similar and different.

I have also fallen in love with the kids in Awana, many of which then become the kids in VBS. This year with them so far has been so exciting. They have a great group of leaders who want to teach them God's love for them by teaching them what the Bible says about it. These kids light up a room. They can also create a storm in a room pretty quickly, lol. But it is rewarding and joy-filled to see them growing up and learning, becoming more self-controlled and more kind. I have the fun job of giving them their awards in front of the group at the end of the night, and giving them the opportunity to say their Bible verses to show off their knowledge.

And I am learning from them. That takes the fun to another level. I get to see and learn more about my heavenly Father through these kids and the leaders that come to teach. The Lord may have given me to be a teacher in these areas, but He has also given me the great gift of learning to be more childlike and knowing Him more intimately through this experience. There is so much more I need to know and learn, but I pray the Lord is getting what He wanted from me. I know He is sending me people who are teaching me and building me up as a leader, who are directing my steps in so many ways so that our act of serving these kids will ultimately bring God the glory. I am so thankful that He provides what we need in every way, even when we do not know we need it.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

A Christmas Wish

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

I like being reminded that the Lord had me in mind. He created me just the way I am and He knew that one day I would love Him with my whole heart. He knew that love would blossom into a desire to see this world be a better place.

My heart is broken about so many things in this world. We can look around us and see poverty and need in so many places. Sometimes we don't want to see. Sometimes we don't want to know about it. I cannot remember what Mike and I were talking about, but it was on our trip to the states this past summer when he said something about it being hard to know/grasp that the water in our toilets is much cleaner than the water many people around the world drink and bathe in. Our toilets.

But it is true. And sad.

I have gotten a late start on this Christmas wish, but it could work nonetheless. What I would love for Christmas is if our family and friends would come together with enough money to dig a well somewhere around the world. It costs $2600 to do this.

http://donate.worldvision.org/OA_HTML/xxwv2ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?section=10373&item=170

But if everyone I knew gave just a little it could happen. I know that I know enough people. And I know everyone has a lot going on in their lives... But it is about sacrifice sometimes to help someone who needs. This is the type of thing that saves lives. 4,000 kids die every day because they do not have clean water.

If you are interested in contributing to this Christmas wish, please send me a personal email... And we can actually do it, together. Would it not be a great feeling to wake up Christmas morning knowing that somewhere around the world a child probably has LIFE and HEALTH because of your giving? Not that it necessarily matters to you, but it would make my year!!

If God is for us who can be against us?

Twelve years

So here I am trying to get back into the Word and back into journaling... I often go through times when I feel like this is something I should be doing, but I think I push that feeling/knowledge aside because there are so many other things to do in a day. But I will take it one day at a time and see if I can allow myself the time to be with the Lord and hash out what is in my head.

There is so much going on every day in my life, mostly little daily life things. I love that. But it is crazy how busy the little things can make you feel. My in-laws came to visit a couple weeks ago. It was wonderful and fun having them here. And while they were here, I slept. I let some of the things I want to do go undone in leiu of sleep. I got at least 8 hours of sleep just about every night. And then I continued with that. The problem is that I really need to get up before the boys, just to be able to have some time of concentrated reading/prayer/writing without them needing me for things. And I really know that I need this time with my Lord and Savior. Period.

This morning, I was reading from Luke 8:43 "And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. 44 She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped."

And I am sitting here thinking, Twelve years??? How does someone go through 12 years of something like that? The reality is that people do it all the time. There are many people out there who have chronic illnesses or conditions that they deal with on a daily basis, with no ones cloak to reach for.

Lately I have some of my own stuff going on that made me say, "Lord, I wish you were here right now, so I could just touch the edge of your cloak." Don't you ever just wish that after so long of dealing with something that the solution would come, just like that, just like touching the edge of a King's cloak? My "stuff" is small potatoes compared to what some others go or have gone through. But I want healing just the same.

That desire for healing makes me long for the day when all our tears will be wiped away and there will be no more pain. I joke that I hope Jesus returns before my kids are teens (because the teenage years have me scared in advance, lol). But really, how awesome would it be to know that they would experience only heaven, with our Heavenly Father and the Son and none of the bad, hard stuff that comes with this life? I know the Lord has great plans for them... and they will handle whatever He brings to their lives, just like I have so far done. But no more tears? No more pain? In heaven with Christ forever? That would be a reality worth giving this life for or at least reaching for the edge of a King's cloak.