Galatians 4:16 Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?
4:20 how I wish I could be with you now and change my tone, because I am perplexed about you!
Paul was writing to the Galatians, whom he had previously visited and preached to, teaching them the life-saving grace of Jesus Christ. And then they fell away from Paul's teaching. Oh, how often I fear this happens to me! And then Paul writes to them to set them straight. He seems to believe they might turn completely away from him because he is calling out the wrong they are partaking in (although I think his question was rhetorical; the people he was writing to had not actually disassociated from him.)
This just made me think how hard it is to hear criticism/truth. I have come to a place where, at least in my mind, I want to hear it. I want to grow and be a better Christian, one who actually looks like Jesus, who loves like Jesus, and sometimes the only way to do that is to hear, repent of, and change the sin in our lives or the not-so-great things about ourselves. I can think of a few opportunities that have been presented to me in the months just since moving to the Azores. These times have given me the opportunity to examine myself and ask tough questions. And even though sometimes I know I would like to change, I wonder sometimes if I am capable. I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, but I still have moments where I wonder, "Why did I just do that/ say that?" when it was something I had resolved to work on.
When I got to verse 20, I almost laughed out loud. Paul says he wishes he could be with these people. How often I think that same thing when I want to talk about something deep with someone! I feel that criticism and deep thoughts are just so much better said in person, albeit sometimes much more uncomfortable. But how the end of the conversation might end--with a hug or moving onto another topic that is lighter, or with a cup of coffee and some time to share other things about life... well, I just always want that. I know for myself that I shy away from talking about deep stuff over the phone (where it relates to me in a personal way anyhow). Paul says he was perplexed! I can totally identify.
Paul was a normal guy in many ways: he had normal emotions for one thing. He loved people, but they perplexed him sometimes. He wanted to see fruit in their lives and he knew that was not happening. I often perplex myself in the same way. So I just have to stop and ask myself again and again and pray again and again for help: where is that fruit? what was it I wanted to change? how am I doing? what do I need to do differently? what will make me more like Jesus? I hope that the Lord will continue to grow me and show me. Every day I only want to be more like Him.
